When we need no words
2:00 AM and my phone rings, I hesitate to pick up because I usually don’t pick up calls after midnight.Text, I will see it, a friend once told me I was a security guard in a past life coz the tiniest noise never fails to gain the attention of my bat ears and I automatically wake up to question it, boarding school,years ago they used to tell me I was the white guy that dies in the movie looking for the noise ‘herloo, is anybody there?’ … But if I have to wake up pick up a call and talk…I cant sleep again and I love my sleep, I get agitated and grumpy proceeding to annoy anyone who calls me knowing this fact. Hence they also think twice about it…making me think whoever called this hour ignoring the wrath of Jack sure must have a good reason.
I pick it up after a brief moment of heartily consultation ‘What are you doing?’ she asks, I refrain from giving my usual ‘picking apples for breakfast’ answer coz I could hear her crying on the other end. I ask her the matter and she tells me what every girl doesn't want to hear from her friend in the wee hours of the night. ‘We broke up’ Jesus Christ. I fold my pillow and make coffee.. there will be a lot of talking crying and no sleeping and the child in me had already started crying.
I could understand why she was crying . On the rate of good looking the guy was a Chris Brown, a panty dropper I call them. The kind of man women dropped underwear for, all he had to do was snap. Unlike me though,not that shallow,I definitely pick my men on the base of intelligence. Yes Really. I'm not kidding. Believe me. Why don’t you believe me ?
So like the good friend I am I proceeded to do what a good friend does when her friend breaks up with her man. Tell a Good lie. Bash the bastard.
‘He wasn’t even handsome, you’ll find another one.’ Lie. He was perfection at one point I wondered if it was legal to even have a face like that.Her chances of finding another one of 'those' were on the probabilities of 10:90 or at least we all concluded the next day with the girls as we all cried on it, we called it a funeral…every time a girl loses a very good man we call it a funeral. Msiba!
‘He had a funny nose anyway.’ Lie. His nose was work of art. Picasso.
‘I never even liked him’ Lie. I could not stop staring at his perfection, at one point I think I was inlove and the girls picked a punishment for me for attempting to fall in love with my friends bf .Cut your hair. Gain weight for a week. No weaves. The feeling eventually wears out automatically. I actually invented that system. Mad turn of events when they used it on me.. I actually invented the ‘correctional system’ when a friend admitted she had a crush on a guy I was seeing, I have to admit it was harsh.
My friend had never done the deed with him so I proceeded to use the illest one of them all-‘I heard he wasn’t even good in bed’ Lie. I heard women speak in tongue after his sessions.
‘I heard he has 1 butt, one got cut off in an operation’ Lie. LIE. LIE.LIE!
Now we all know why he eventually broke with her. But was it the right moment to blurt it out? No. She was one of those women who would go Jazmin Sullivan and we were all too broke to bail her out of jail anytime soon and thought, its cheaper to go the safe route. Even grumpy little Jackie couldn't bring herself to do it. We did what lazy underpaid heroes do and let her save herself and pick herself up and told her about it 6 months later, of course she had a fit and we laughed about it, she could see the situation differently now. But it was the right moment.
And I thought to myself. Do we all need a good lie sometimes or is Timing just everything.
A wrote a poem once. Called Lie to
Me. It got so misunderstood, people came to
me saying it is wrong to support sin, some said I need a better relationship,
others were keen on pointing out that ‘I was depressed’ Missing the main point.. Basically the poem
was not about love and had nothing to do about love, I rarely write love poems but love using the notion as paradigms, it was just someone saying, They were not ready or much less equipped, to know what was
there, like a child is not ready to walk
into the world unprotected without parents.
The truth is good, it is grande. But is the moment right? There is a time for everything. The truth will set you free, freedom comes with a price. Are you equipped to pay it just yet, is everyone else equipped to pay, what will come of it? There is an importance In knowing the right time to be speak
When I was In college my literature professor got me some book called ‘The right moment to speak’ or something like that,being a reader I thought she was just being nice, it took me two days of reading to understand she had given me an intellectual ‘shut the fuck up’
Because I talked too much, I criticized too much, It was the truth, but it was never the right moment. And it made me look bitter, but I never knew, because in my eyes, I was being honest. I was practicing the grande art of truth telling.
I’m not saying we all need a good lie. But do not be as cruel as putting someone through the triumphs of truth when you’re sure they aren’t ready.
My doctor once told me one thing , We don’t lie, we just don’t tell the whole truth. I still disagree with this like many people do. They have a tendency to not tell patients the whole truth these doctors and he proceeded to defend himself saying 'We make mistakes, but I guarantee you patients wont make good decisions when you tell them the actual situation and some decisions might cost you your job, You have to know when to say what. Sometimes you have to withhold some information until you’re sure they can stomach it and you can control the situation.' and i argued with it..to the bone. Your're not God. You cant control everything. Then it hit me, epiphany. What comes of it just yet? Is it called for? You're not God, you cant control every situation.
That was scary. But it was about being careful with our timing for ejection of random truths. Not hiding it, under the circumstances the truth should or should not be told and have good reasons for making that decision. If the situation demands that telling the truth can cause problem or it can solve. Evaluate. What is the reason for 'your truth'
Then again Don’t lie, Never Lie. Timing is everything. And of course, diction. Know when to speak, and when to be silent. But always remember, sometimes, however Golden silence is, Better the killer than the witnesses that say nothing at all and walk on by.